WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
