so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
