It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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