The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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