She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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