Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize