He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
