just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
