I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
