honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
