i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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