He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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