So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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