tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
