It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize