I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
