The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
