hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
