chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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