My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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