Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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