I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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