he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
