Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
