Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
