I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize