weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
