What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
