hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize