i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
