A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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