Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
