I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize