Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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