I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
