when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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