either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
