gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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