your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
