Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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