Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize