Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize