Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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