Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
