My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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