Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
