I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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