PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
