I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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