I'm lost and stupid without you.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
