honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
