Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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