i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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