There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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