you have to choose: penises or morals?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
