Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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