Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
