Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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