belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
