I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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