Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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