I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
