I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
