Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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