Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
