This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
