I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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